This test has been scientifically designed to assess your reasoning skills. Write the answers in block capitals, using Roman numerals only. No extra pencils, bathroom trips, or religious practices are allowed.
I. If two trains leave their respective stations at the same time, one traveling at 50 mph westbound and one traveling at 80 mph eastbound, at what point will their trajectories intersect, killing 117, injuring 84?
Why do we use the term injuring instead of wounding or maiming?
Which engine crew was smoking marijuana? Defend your reasoning. (25 points)
II. The best-laid plans of men and angels are not implemented. Why? Discuss. (20 points)
III. A virtual (but extremely convincing) fire breaks out immediately beneath your loge at the Opera. How crowded should the theater be (specific density with regard to structural volume, discounting catwalks, restrooms and backstage passages, will suffice) before shouting “Fire!” will do more harm than good?
If the exit does not manifest in 25 seconds or less, it is not meant for you. You could take the long way through the smoke, but why bother? Elucidate or adumbrate, according to your personal philosophical beliefs. (15 points)
IV. Country A, whose population comprises 21.8% of the planetary total, requires 87% of a particular commodity to support the practices of 3.1% of its citizens. Country B, with 34.5% of the planet’s population, would like to have 50% of this commodity, which it intends to distribute equally among its citizens. Country C, where the commodity is produced, has a famine and 0.7% of the population. 75% of its citizens have access to firearms and/or explosives. Produce a regressive rationale for prior and subsequent events that does not conflict with the doctrine of whatever agency from which you intend to someday request funding. (25 points)
Total possible points: 85
The remaining 15 points are reserved in the form of a voluntary gratuity furnished to your hard-working instructor. Points will be deducted for defective personal ideologies. Any use of emoticons will automatically result in a grade of F. When you are finished, crawl beneath your desk, put your head between your knees, and wait for further instructions.
©2005 F.J. Bergmann
"Ruling Class" appeared in VOX #3.
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