Cartomancy, using the Celtic method & the Rider Tarot Deck
* Twenty-five dollars. You may pay more when the reading is finished
   if you're pleased with the results. I've chosen the Queen of Swords
   as your Significator.
* No, not "significant other;" it means the card which represents you.
* Because it ought to be a court card and you seem unhappy.
* Querents come to me for many different reasons.
* No, she doesn't really look like you. It doesn't matter. Think
   of what you want answered, and cut the deck once.
* You don't need to tell me what your question is. Everyone likes
   to be certain of their decisions. Just cut the deck without shuffling it.

* This is called the Celtic layout. The Two of Cups Covers you.
   This card is the atmosphere surrounding your question. It represents harmony,
  
and the union of ideals: this venture was apparently meant for you.
* That's very significant, that your grandmother was from Ireland. No one knows
   the origin of the cards, but they are extremely ancient.
* It's quite likely that second sight is inherited. I sometimes teach promising
   students how to do readings, if you're interested.
* The more ability you show, the longer it takes. We can discuss the fee
   structure when your reading is over.

* The Seven of Swords, reversed, Crosses you, indicating forces in opposition.
   A reversed card isn't necessarily bad. This card means that you should seek
   advice from others; look for a mentor.
* No, not me; someone in your line of work.
* Well, if you're still trying to decide what to do with your life, you could ask
   experienced people in all the areas you're interested in.
* I don't know if getting all his ex-wives and mistresses together
   for a little chat with you is such a good idea.

* There are seven of them? How interesting! The Empress is Beneath you,
   representing the foundation of past experience; she indicates
   that you are already possessed
   of a fertile imagination and a wealth of skills.
* No, she doesn't look like you either, does she. So you were creative
   even as a child! And you still crochet two dozen granny-square afghans
   every winter! My, that is impressive.

* The King of Pentacles is Behind you, showing an influence that is passing away.
   This may be a person; someone reliable and safe, but tending to lethargy and…
* What? Laziness, I guess, and caution.
* No, the person is not dying. The influence of the card is passing away.
  
He may be interested in money.
* Yes, it sounds like your ex-husband. Of course they're your credit cards, too.

* The World, reversed, Crowns you, showing a potential, more distant future.
   It means fear of change, and inability to learn from experience.
* Your first husband said that? Well, not changing is also a choice.
   Yes, things could always get worse.
* No, I can't turn it right side up.
* Because it will make the reading inaccurate.

* The Ace of Wands, reversed, is Before you. The immediate future may not
   bring what you want; you may experience delays.
* No, it does not mean someone will beat you with a big stick! It means
   you have to wait for what you want.
* No, I can't say how long it will take.
* That's not a number; it's a swirl in the clouds.
* A year, then.
* Of course it's not your fault. You can accomplish only so much if other people
   keep blocking you. It must be terrible to have headaches like that.
* No, I don't do psychic healing.

* The Knight of Swords, reversed, signifies yourself and problems that beset you: inertia…
* That means not being able to get started doing what you ought to.
* The cards are trying to help you decide what to do next.
* (ahem) … inertia, carelessness, and procrastination…
* Putting things off.
* It does sound like him.
* No, this is your reading. Sometimes people feel more comfortable
   criticizing someone else for a problem rather than admitting they have it themselves.
* That sounds just like your second mother-in-law? How interesting.
* No, I don't think this is her reading either.

* I can see what a wonderful person you really are, deep down inside.
   This card, the Fool, represents the influence of people around you; family and friends.
   It means that you have an important decision ahead of you and that you must be careful
   to choose wisely and get advice from the right person.
* No, it doesn't say who. I've never seen your beautician, so I have no idea
   whether she looks like the card.
* The image of the Fool is a symbol for the search for knowledge.
* If she's really that foolish, she's probably not a good person to ask for advice.
   Even if she does have a little dog just like the one in the picture.

* Oh, it died three years ago. I see. The Hierophant…
* Hierophant, not elephant. It means High Priest.
* Like the Pope.
* No, the Tarot deck is not Catholic. It's been handed down since time immemorial.
* That means it's the wisdom of the ages. Let's continue, shall we?
   The Hierophant symbolizes your hopes and fears and shows a need
   for superficial social approval.
* You know, like people who go to church every Sunday even though
   they don't believe, just so their neighbors won't look down on them.
* Just like your mother? And you have to go too,
   even though you hate it, so she won't get mad at you?
   Yes, it is unpleasant to argue constantly, isn't it?

* There is no elephant. This has nothing to do with politics,
   and no, it certainly does NOT mean you should vote Republican.
   The Five of Swords, reversed, is the final outcome of the matter you inquired about,
   showing weakness, a chance of defeat, and stormy weather ahead.
* It's okay that you left your windows rolled down; it's not going to rain this afternoon.
* Go look out the window if you don't believe me.
* Because it's a metaphor.

* It just means things don't look so good. The general impression I get
   from the cards is that you need to plan and think this through very carefully,
   and make sure before you take steps that can't be undone that it's what you really want.
* If you could tell me a little more about the problem, I could give you
   more specific information.
* The cards have spoken; paying me more can't change what's there. Only half
   the cards are reversed, which is about average.
* No, I can't turn them around before I shuffle.
* Because it's cheating, that's why.
* The interpretation is quite clear-cut, but if you ask a different question
   I can do another reading, if you insist.
* Yes, I 'll try to make the cards come out right-side-up.
   That will be another twenty-five dollars.

FJBergmann 6/19/01

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